Post by Mark "Papa Bear" Caruso on Dec 31, 2012 2:00:44 GMT -5
Alright, so it's time for another one of these! I apologize that I will be writing in retrospect, but I wanted to hold off on writing this until after I knew for sure my tribal council vote had been seen and accounted for. Here goes nothing...
- At the beginning of this round, to say that I was on a roller coaster ride of emotions would be an understatement. Upon finding out at the last tribal council that someone had screwed up and that Keith was going to be the one leaving the game instead of me, I was immediately overcome with joy and thankfulness. But those feelings were somewhat short-lived, as I quickly began to dwell on the audacity of a tribe that would even consider involving me in a vote that close in the first place. Ozzy, Jim, Keith, and Whitney made a pretty clear statement by questioning my worth to the tribe and then followed it up by essentially calling out my activity and communication abilities in the tribal council after the results were posted. And as I had previously mentioned, a part of me feels like the vote for Keith by Cochran, Elyse, and Dawn was a move made as much to save and protect themselves as it was to help me out. Going into this most recent challenge, I was feeling pretty down on my luck and feeling the necessity to prove myself to the others in the challenge.
- One thing I found to be very interesting that happened prior to the start of the challenge was a message I received from Whitney. She more or less apologized for her vote and even kind of spun it back around on Elyse and me for not properly informing her of the plan. She made it very clear that she would prefer to be on our side of things, but I can't help but wonder how much those sentiments are influenced by Keith leaving and me staying. Either way, I appreciated the gesture and actually feel like she is someone I can trust and rely on moving forward. Unfortunately, she informed me that she had a pretty lengthy discussion with Elyse, so she is clearly much closer to her than she is anyone else. Elyse is quickly becoming the sweetheart that I predicted she would become so long ago. I still can't decide if that is a good or a bad thing.
- When I finally saw the challenge, I was immediately hooked. These challenges are 3 for 3 on peaking my interest and competitive edge. In fact, I was so hooked on this particular challenge that I stayed up until 6 AM the next morning more or less in a stand still between Cochran and I and a few of the members from Upolu. Literally nothing happened for what seemed like hours, but when Coach and Brandon were ready to make their move, we were right there waiting on them to block it. I was so proud of our tribe in that challenge! At one point, they only had one person left and we had a pretty commanding lead on them. It seemed inevitable that we were about to come together for not only our first victory but also a shutout. Unfortunately, fate would not have it that way. I think the loss in that challenge hurt more than my first break-up, but I'm trying to focus on the many positives from our tribe and just be prepared to win this next challenge!
- I have had many devastating and depressing moments in my history of playing these games. I remember one time I got blindsided in the final 5 by two guys who I had pretty much become best friends with and would stay up talking to about the game and life until the wee hours of the morning. I remember one game where I made it all the way to the very end of the game that I had worked very, very hard in only to be greeted by a jury full of bitter players who thought I was undeserving and disingenious - and likewise rewarded me with a third place finish. I dare say those two experiences pale in comparison to the feelings I felt after realizing that I had made fifteen separate threads in my press-back-then-copy-and-paste method that I had so diligently rehearsed in my confessional as opposed to properly constructing a pyramid in record time before the everpresent Upolu tribe could catch me. Now let me just say that one of my fatal flaws has always been pride. It's something I really need to work on. I would have been more than sufficiently embarrassed had I made that mistake in the privacy of my own confessional. To do so in public in the middle of a heated challenge that also required that I preserve my created threads and not delete them - well, needless to say, I was not a very happy man. Only to add insult to injury, I was then met with a host of Upolu members who proceeded to call me an idiot, a moron, laugh and mock at me, and even try to assert that I had lost the challenge for our tribe. I probably didn't handle myself as well as I should have, but I dare say that had Edna and I been physically in the same room, I probably would have tried to fight her. She redefines obnoxious and her inability to spell or construct a grammatically correct sentence will be the death of me in this game. I've always been told never say never, but I can never see she and I getting along. In fact, as it stands now, I am contemplating making a miniature Edna voodoo doll and poking it in the face repeatedly with a pin. She's awful. Anyway, I said all of that to say this - I hope to never repeat my performance in this challenge. And I hope no else does either. I would never wish that on someone.
- So in a round where I was feeling pretty low from the previous tribal council and then followed that by dropping the ball in epic fashion in the challenge, I had to pause for a moment to give myself a little pep talk and attempt to keep everything in perspective. Frankly, I truly believe there is a good side to every situation, so I really had to dig deep and quit sulking. And in that process, I was reminded of how great it is to be on a tribe with people like Cochran, Elyse, Dawn, and Whitney, as they ultimately proved to be faithful allies and friends as we worked together in a 5-2 elimination of Jim. As you can easily detect in my Voting History thread, I found this to be a bit of sweet revenge against Jim, because he had instructed everyone last round to not ruffle any feathers or go against the plan and just vote me out. I took great pride in not ruffling any feathers this round and voting his ass out.
- Moving forward, there is a lot of I feel like I need to improve on. Although I hate to admit it, Ozzy kind of had a point when he mentioned that my communication needs work. It will come as no surprise to anyone who reads my confessionals that I am long-winded as hell. I could talk to a brick walk. But during challenges or heated moments of the game, I more or less stop talking altogether and focus solely on that. Communication is going to have to get better if I plan on making any noise in this game. Although I would like to point out that Ozzy remains to be the only person I haven't spoken to, and ironically enough, he has never contacted me either. Speaking of improvements, I would give an arm and a leg to feel the feeling of immunity this next round. We have hung our heads in defeat three times already. Fourth time is a charm!
I apologize for saying so darn much, but a lot happened this round. Until next time...
Papa Bear
- At the beginning of this round, to say that I was on a roller coaster ride of emotions would be an understatement. Upon finding out at the last tribal council that someone had screwed up and that Keith was going to be the one leaving the game instead of me, I was immediately overcome with joy and thankfulness. But those feelings were somewhat short-lived, as I quickly began to dwell on the audacity of a tribe that would even consider involving me in a vote that close in the first place. Ozzy, Jim, Keith, and Whitney made a pretty clear statement by questioning my worth to the tribe and then followed it up by essentially calling out my activity and communication abilities in the tribal council after the results were posted. And as I had previously mentioned, a part of me feels like the vote for Keith by Cochran, Elyse, and Dawn was a move made as much to save and protect themselves as it was to help me out. Going into this most recent challenge, I was feeling pretty down on my luck and feeling the necessity to prove myself to the others in the challenge.
- One thing I found to be very interesting that happened prior to the start of the challenge was a message I received from Whitney. She more or less apologized for her vote and even kind of spun it back around on Elyse and me for not properly informing her of the plan. She made it very clear that she would prefer to be on our side of things, but I can't help but wonder how much those sentiments are influenced by Keith leaving and me staying. Either way, I appreciated the gesture and actually feel like she is someone I can trust and rely on moving forward. Unfortunately, she informed me that she had a pretty lengthy discussion with Elyse, so she is clearly much closer to her than she is anyone else. Elyse is quickly becoming the sweetheart that I predicted she would become so long ago. I still can't decide if that is a good or a bad thing.
- When I finally saw the challenge, I was immediately hooked. These challenges are 3 for 3 on peaking my interest and competitive edge. In fact, I was so hooked on this particular challenge that I stayed up until 6 AM the next morning more or less in a stand still between Cochran and I and a few of the members from Upolu. Literally nothing happened for what seemed like hours, but when Coach and Brandon were ready to make their move, we were right there waiting on them to block it. I was so proud of our tribe in that challenge! At one point, they only had one person left and we had a pretty commanding lead on them. It seemed inevitable that we were about to come together for not only our first victory but also a shutout. Unfortunately, fate would not have it that way. I think the loss in that challenge hurt more than my first break-up, but I'm trying to focus on the many positives from our tribe and just be prepared to win this next challenge!
- I have had many devastating and depressing moments in my history of playing these games. I remember one time I got blindsided in the final 5 by two guys who I had pretty much become best friends with and would stay up talking to about the game and life until the wee hours of the morning. I remember one game where I made it all the way to the very end of the game that I had worked very, very hard in only to be greeted by a jury full of bitter players who thought I was undeserving and disingenious - and likewise rewarded me with a third place finish. I dare say those two experiences pale in comparison to the feelings I felt after realizing that I had made fifteen separate threads in my press-back-then-copy-and-paste method that I had so diligently rehearsed in my confessional as opposed to properly constructing a pyramid in record time before the everpresent Upolu tribe could catch me. Now let me just say that one of my fatal flaws has always been pride. It's something I really need to work on. I would have been more than sufficiently embarrassed had I made that mistake in the privacy of my own confessional. To do so in public in the middle of a heated challenge that also required that I preserve my created threads and not delete them - well, needless to say, I was not a very happy man. Only to add insult to injury, I was then met with a host of Upolu members who proceeded to call me an idiot, a moron, laugh and mock at me, and even try to assert that I had lost the challenge for our tribe. I probably didn't handle myself as well as I should have, but I dare say that had Edna and I been physically in the same room, I probably would have tried to fight her. She redefines obnoxious and her inability to spell or construct a grammatically correct sentence will be the death of me in this game. I've always been told never say never, but I can never see she and I getting along. In fact, as it stands now, I am contemplating making a miniature Edna voodoo doll and poking it in the face repeatedly with a pin. She's awful. Anyway, I said all of that to say this - I hope to never repeat my performance in this challenge. And I hope no else does either. I would never wish that on someone.
- So in a round where I was feeling pretty low from the previous tribal council and then followed that by dropping the ball in epic fashion in the challenge, I had to pause for a moment to give myself a little pep talk and attempt to keep everything in perspective. Frankly, I truly believe there is a good side to every situation, so I really had to dig deep and quit sulking. And in that process, I was reminded of how great it is to be on a tribe with people like Cochran, Elyse, Dawn, and Whitney, as they ultimately proved to be faithful allies and friends as we worked together in a 5-2 elimination of Jim. As you can easily detect in my Voting History thread, I found this to be a bit of sweet revenge against Jim, because he had instructed everyone last round to not ruffle any feathers or go against the plan and just vote me out. I took great pride in not ruffling any feathers this round and voting his ass out.
- Moving forward, there is a lot of I feel like I need to improve on. Although I hate to admit it, Ozzy kind of had a point when he mentioned that my communication needs work. It will come as no surprise to anyone who reads my confessionals that I am long-winded as hell. I could talk to a brick walk. But during challenges or heated moments of the game, I more or less stop talking altogether and focus solely on that. Communication is going to have to get better if I plan on making any noise in this game. Although I would like to point out that Ozzy remains to be the only person I haven't spoken to, and ironically enough, he has never contacted me either. Speaking of improvements, I would give an arm and a leg to feel the feeling of immunity this next round. We have hung our heads in defeat three times already. Fourth time is a charm!
I apologize for saying so darn much, but a lot happened this round. Until next time...
Papa Bear